


scars and insecurities

by AlexTheShipper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Deans emotional problems, Fallen Cas, First Kiss, Fluff, Human Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 13:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2349893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheShipper/pseuds/AlexTheShipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Castiel falls he suffers echo's of pain from his missing wings. Dean tries to comfort him and somehow winds up sharing his secrets with the ex-angel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	scars and insecurities

Castiel had fallen weeks ago and Dean hadn't known about the scars so when he walked in on Cas changing he didn't know what to do. The skin along his shoulder blades was broken like mountain ranges. It wasn't smooth like most of Deans scars it was open and broken and heart breaking.

Dean couldn't speak and the next thing he knew a door was being slammed in his face. He was more careful after that making sure not to pat Cas on the back, and lending him lighter shirts. He started putting scar creams in Cas' room with bandages. They didn't talk about it and that was okay. Or it should have been. Except Dean started to notice how Castiel would shake his shoulders as if to reposition his wings or how he slouched when he sat and how uncomfortable he looked.

  
It was making Dean anxious just watching how uncomfortable his friend was and he wanted to fix it. He didn't know what to do and he made sure not to point it out. He didn't want to make Castiel more uncomfortable. A few weeks later and Castiel walked into his room in the middle of the night shirtless and pale.

  
"Cas?" Dean blinked groggily. "What's wrong?" Castiel fidgeted nervously.

  
"I-I can't sleep my wings hurt." Dean didn't hesitate to pull Castiel onto his bed before settling behind him and studying the scars.

  
"Cas can I put some cream on these?" Castiel looked scared but he glanced over his shoulder at Dean.

  
"Yes Dean. I trust you." Dean presses his forehead to the back of Cas' neck humming the tune of ramble on to himself as he grabbed scar cream out of the nightstand drawer.

  
"Ready Cas?" He scooped a small amount out as he asked the question waiting for Castiel to nod. When he did Dean began to rub the cream along the edges of the scars. Castiel hissed softly at the temperature and Dean stopped until Cas relaxed under him.

  
"Thank you Dean." Dean smiles at him warmly.

  
"I'm just glad you trust me to do this." Castiel looked at him questioningly. "This takes a lot of trust Cas. I know you're insecure about this but I want to take care of you and you're letting me. That's trust."

  
Castiel shifts his shoulder again trying to move his wing before he remembers. Dean watches fingers trailing around the marred skin.

  
"Well do you trust me?" Cas asks. Dean nods.

  
"Of course Cas." Castiel blushes again.

  
"Then tell me about your insecurities." Dean chews his lip.

  
"Cas I don't know if I should." Castiel frowns.

  
"You don't trust me?" Dean shakes his head and tugs the angel closer.

  
"Of course I do." Castiel frowns.

  
"Then tell me." Dean groans and presses his forehead against Castiel's spine.

  
"Okay. For you Cas, but I'm trusting you to not tell anyone even Sam." He feels Castiel nod and continues. "Sometimes I worry that I don't have anything that's mine." He mumbles it fingers tapping nervously against his knee. "My car's dads, my jacket is dads, my music, dads, my primary initiative; take care of Sammy, that's dads." Castiel frowns at his lap.

"Dean that's not true." Dean bites his lip pressing closer. "You like reading even if you can't admit it. You love Lord of the rings and you love Sam completely independently of your father. You aren't just a 'hammer' as you say." Dean laughs softly at the use of air quotes. "You're strong and beautiful Dean." Dean blushes deeply.

  
"You forgot one thing I love all on my own." Castiel feels his head tilt to the side. "You Cas." Castiel tenses under him.

  
"No." He says. Dean whimpers pulling away.

"I'm sorry. You can leave if you want to. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He barely hears it then Castiel muttering to himself.

  
"No he doesn't love you like that stupid. You've betrayed him and hurt him and abandoned him. Now what are you nothing but a fallen angel. One of Gods broken toys. No wings no powers what can you offer him." Dean growls wrapping his arms back around Cas.

  
"Stop saying that I love you. I truly love you." Castiel pouts.

  
"Like a brother." It's said with so much contempt, Dean's heart breaks for him.

  
"Not really. I don't normally want to kiss and cuddle my brothers you on the other hand." Castiel blushes deeply.

  
"You wanna kiss me?"  
Dean hides against his neck trembling.

  
"Yes. I do. Please don't hate me." Castiel pulls away so he can face Dean smiling at him as he tilts the mans chin up.

  
"Kiss me Dean." Dean's brain almost shorts out when Cas' arms slip around his neck. He leans forward and kisses Cas softly. Its gentle and caring and Dean melts into it.

  
"My beautiful blue eyed angel." Dean mumbles. Castiel whimpers.

  
"Not an angel anymore." Dean strokes his cheek.

  
"You'll always be an angel to me." Castiel blushes and snuggles into his arms.

  
"My human." Cas retorts. Dean laughs.

  
"Your human Cas." Dean smiles at him.

  
"I love you Dean."

  
"I love you too sweet pea."


End file.
